A Journey - How to find your voice? A Women’s Day Special
by Urwashee Saxena
Being a woman, I have observed that in our society, girls with confidence are seldom appreciated, usually, they’re discouraged from being vocal about their feelings and their ideas. Yet, we are often regarded as the mother – the creator of the world. Imagine a world where the mother doesn’t have a voice. I have always struggled with this notion of our society. I felt like I want to speak something but I’m being silenced whenever I try to speak.
Until, one day, I read a tiny quote from Maya Angelou. In that quote, she said, “Nothing will work unless you do.” It gave me goosebumps when I first read this quote. It didn’t stop here; it became the first domino to fall and later it showed a huge impact on my character – the person I am today. On this Women’s Day, I am going to share my wisdom with you through which I found my voice.
1. Accept Who You Are
The very first step of finding your voice is accepting who you are right now. If you can’t look at the mirror and see your true self then you will not be able to find your voice, or the confidence you are yearning for. Introspect to observe your flaws and strengths. Look at your body, the imperfection, the stretch marks, or the scars. Remember one thing, no matter how you look or who you are, you’re perfect with all your imperfection.
Only after you accept yourself, you can acknowledge your flaws and start working on them. Therefore, the number one thing that I did was to accept my current state and embraced my true self. Then I moved to the second stage.
2. It’s Okay to Be Wrong
As soon as you accept your flaws, a realization will dawn upon you that you are wrong about so many things. Your opinions aren’t fully formed or you don’t have enough knowledge about something. Instead of being paranoid about being wrong, I want you to remember that being wrong or failure is as natural as breathing. Do you expect someone to get freaked out if they can draw perfectly on her first attempt? No, right? Because we know that there will be failures at first, only after those failures one can learn to draw perfectly.
Then allow yourself some space for breathing. You don’t have to be so uptight about everything. Make a mess and try again. This is how it is supposed to be.
3. Trust Your Vibes
You know there are some people who always make you uncomfortable no matter what. And then there are some people who just click like Lego piece. You know what, trust those instincts. Trust me, babe, this life is too short for letting anyone in our life at the expense of our mental peace. It’s not just about the people, it applies on the work, hobbies, plans, almost everything. Remember, if it doesn’t feel right, no matter how tempting it seems, it’s not worth it.
4. Believe in Yourself
Now I know you’ve heard this god knows how many times, but what does believing-in-myself mean to me? Belief starts with all the steps mentioned above. First, you need to accept yourself, then you need to be okay with your flaws and failures, then you need to be selective social, keep only those around you who add value to your life.
After doing everything, start putting faith in your ideas, stop seeking validation, if you think you don’t have enough knowledge, acquire it and improve yourself. But always value yourself enough to have some strength in your opinions. And after doing that move on to the next step.
5. Be Vocal About Your Feelings
Remember, it’s always the small steps that will take you towards the bigger rewards. After putting faith in your ideas and opinions, start talking about them. Chances are, you will face stark criticism, sometimes it will be hurtful. But now you know it’s a part of the plan. Failure is acceptable, but surrender is not. Speak, and speak again. Rephrase your statements, learn to craft the sentences, and strengthen them with conviction. And conviction comes from your own faith in your ideas.
Fail a thousand times, all you need is one win. Once you get it, there’s no turning back, I promise you that. Speak about yourself, what you like, what you don’t. Present your eloquent ideas and stand by them. If they are not perfect, work on them, but speak. Never let anyone stop you from speaking your mind.
6. Be Kind
I know, it may sound like another cliché advice. But from my experience, I can tell you one thing, that this cliché advice is cliché because they worked every single time. Above all the advice, I want you to remember this forever. Remember to be kind, not just towards the world or people, but to yourself as well. Kindness has healing power, it can heal wounds, scars, misunderstandings, hatred, anger, prejudice, and whatnot.
In the journey towards finding your voice, you will find countless failures, setbacks, bad people, all these experiences can either make you strong or turn you into a bitter person. Keep a kindle of kindness always lit in your heart, it will save you from turning sour. Kindness will make you resilient and help you endure the hardest times.
7. Remember, You’re One of a Kind
The journey of finding your voice will not be an easy one. There will be some bruises, bitter memories, but there will be small rewards as well. Amidst all that, make sure you never compare yourself to anyone. Everyone is living a different chapter of their lives; everyone is going through something in their lives. No one’s life is the same. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Comparing yourself to someone’s will not give you any lead in your life.
It is important to understand how easy it is to fall into the rabbit hole of comparison, but as soon as you find yourself into it just snap out of it. You’re one of a kind, remember that.
The Final Note
Don’t expect overnight success in this journey. The rewards and accomplishments can be small but these small nuggets will make the monument of tomorrow. Being a woman, I understand how tough it is to grow in a men’s world. But if we want to change that, if we want to make meaning out of our existence then we have to take tough measures here. Nothing great can be achieved from ordinary efforts. And you, my dear, deserve all the greatness in this world.
I wish you a very Happy Women’s Day.